Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Our Labor Day Trip: Post-Ernesto, The Shits, Dolby Fuckin' and Fuck Right Aid!

The Morning Before

Don't let it be said that our Labor Day trip to North Carolina was not exciting. The night before we were supposed to leave, me, the girlfriend person and her mom were up all night gettin' totally wasted. I musta got up around 5 AM and we were supposed to leave around 7 AM or something, but the women wanted to sleep. I even woke up the girlfriend person and she sits up with sleep-encrusted eyes and groggily says, "I'm up. Okay." Then she fell back to sleep. We were late. But I can safely say, I woke up on time.

On the road

Now that was something altogether. Before we left I made the mistake of drinking half a gallon of Strawberry Quick milk and a couple of Nilla Wafers. Dude, all the way down there, that milk was turning my bowels into a liquid dessert. Hell. It was bad enough that the girlfriend person was sliding all over the seat because she was having her monthly female moment. Finally, we holed up in some bathroom in West Virginia where the toilet didn't flush. Stinkaroo! Then we ate some burgers.


Apparently, some punk-bitch storm called Ernesto flooded the Hell outta everything and we arrive post-flood. The road to our house was totally fucked over. We stalled out two cars, trekked through diseased flood water and finally settled into the joint… and to notice that our big-ass bottle of rum didn't survive the trip. Keep in mind, this is Labor Day. Shit's fuckin' closed.

Dolby Porn

We musta spent like two days there before we were totally re-routed to another joint for the remainder of the trip. Surprisingly, we didn't do a whole lot. I watched Judge Joe Brown, played on the beach and me and the girlfriend person did some nasty up in the big bedroom. So it seems that our bedroom is a conduit to the rest of the peace of the house. Yes. Can you say Dolby Surround porn?

Fuck Right Aid! Fuck 'Em Right in the Mouth!

Anyway, we took a few pix. Many of them turned out like shit. I suppose it didn't help that motherfuckin' Rite Aid reversed some of the pictures. Aw, fuck! That's another story. First, they said they weren't gonna have our pictures in an hour because their machine was broken. They told us to come in the next day. AND they still expected us to pay a one hour photo price! Shitfucks. So we went to another Rite Aid and not only did they fuck up some of the pictures, but they didn't even give us the picture CD that we ordered and paid for. Now, this was TWO different Right Aid stores! Next time, we're goin' to Target.

Can you say, Griswolds?

I'm the one takin' pictures.

I'm the tall one kissin' Orville

Me and the Girlfriend Person. Except the dude in the T-shirt. That's her dad. Ineteresting, there was was a black family next door.

Oh, and if youre ever in Kitty Hawk, stop by Dirty Dick's Crab House and tell me what it's like. When we were driving to the Wright Brothers Musuem we found this joint and snapped a pic.

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