Thursday, April 10, 2008

Top Secret Projects Revealed, Your Birthday Wishes, Friggin’ in the Riggin’ & Good Ship Venus



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I guess I’ve been gone for a while. Well, not really gone, but kinda working. Been trying to finish a couple of scripts I wanna send off to my agent. It’s gonna be a double-whammy. A space opera called Jetwash and an adventure yarn called Island Macabre which a couple of you have been reading.


Jetwash

In 1992, this started at one point with a kitchen sink of ideas called Heavy Cage I brainstormed with an old Army buddy in basic training. But unfortunately, it was just a bunch of epic ideas thrown together with way too many characters and no real story or anywhere to go. Then in 1995 I took another stab at it but this time focusing on one concept and creating a new character, Mr. Melee. I decided to turn it into a full-on space opera like Flash Gordon or Buck Rogers. For one reason or another the story kept getting bigger and less controllable. Then I put Mr. Melee away again and focused on other scripts. In fact, more than 30 scripts. In 2007, I decided to revisit the prospect of revamping Mr. Melee into something that’s now called Jetwash. Mr. Melee is no longer the lead, but is part of a team of disbanded fighter pilots that uncover an intergalactic conspiracy. I got about 90+ pages in when I realized I really should turn in another story to make it’s easier for my agent to market me as a writer instead of just banking on my kids script. So, I did a quick, scan of my Island Macabre serial.



Island Macabre

I adapted the serial into a screenplay in a matter of five days. The hard part was trying to figure out the last few episodes of the serial and making it a complete script. That took another couple weeks. Anyway, it’s done and pretty damn happy with it.

Island Macabre wasn’t always called Island Macabre. At one point like say in 1994, it was a contemporary western set in Texas caves searching for a legendary old outlaw’s loot while being chased by bounty hunters, sky pirates and state troopers. That little desert yarn was called Pay Dirt. For one reason or another I couldn’t make that story work. Not sure why. I would always lose interest. I suppose I could still write a structured story, but if I’ve lost the initial interest, then I didn’t want to continue. I think a lot of it had to do with way too many characters and triple-crossed and quadruple-crosses.

Then in 1999, I had a Word World II story called Skeleton Crew about 5 Allied prisoners sent into post-war Berlin to seek out and bring back Hitler’s head as proof of his death to clear their names. Another concept that never really worked out the way I wanted and lost interest. Then some time in 2005 I wanted to do a movie about a zombie samurai island. What I did is take elements of Pay Dirt and Skeleton Crew that mutated into a story called The Hard Way to Hell and then later when the characters started to pan out, Island Macabre. Then it finally became more of NOT what I wanted, but more of what I liked. So, now I have a character that’s dumb enough to go head-on into a horde of samurai undead with a broken Swiss Army knife.


CUT! 2008

In between all that I’ve also been working on some things for the CUT! Film Fest that some of you went to between March 29-30. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go to the CUT! so, my contribution were these two thingies I did for the SLiTHER panel and one for the Wrath of Gods panel. You can buy merch with these designs at the links below.

http://www.cafepress.com/jgas http://www.cafepress/cut2008

Birthday Wishes

Lastly, I’d like to take some time to thank you fine folks for the birthday wishes. I was rushing around trying to get things done that I didn’t really stop to smell my birthday.


So, here it is:

Mike D: Happy easter, and early Happy Birthday!

Thanks for the birthday wishes, man, but a dude who calls himself The Ablazin’ Devil Head, isn’t all into celebratin’ the birthday of christ. That’s right. Little c.

Melissa Joan Hart: Happy birthday!

When it comes from Melissa Joan Hart, a simple "Happy Birthday" is what a simple brother needs.

Joseph 08: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not going to make you page more of a hassle to load by including an image. Instead I offer words. Words of a great year to come for you, full of happiness and joy.

Fuck. I was really lookin’ forward to the penis pic. But this so-called great year is only kick-ass so far. I suppose I owe that much to you, Joseph.

Stephanie, Princess Cupcake: Happy Birthday, Cock Sucker Mother Fucker.

Motherfucker and cocksucker on the same cake? An odd image indeed.

Ed: Happy Birthday ye olde Fart!

Avast, ye oldest flatulent, happy birthday back.

Heidi aka The Heidster: Hope you have a terrific birthday!!!!

I wish I knew. I totally forgot what I did. But thanks anyway. I’m sure I drank. Not sure. I guess if I’m not sure, I probably did.

HOW YAAAAAA DOING: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Yeah, thanks. Who’re you?

((( Dreamer School ))): hello, The Ablazin’ Devil Head

i want 2 sing a song 4 u

happy birthday 2 u..
happy birthday 2 u..
happy birthday 2 u..
happy birthday 2 u....................

don’t forget 2 make 3 wishes b4 blowing out 18 candles..

@__________________^

((( dreamer school ))) music
make dreams come true together!

Yeah, I was embarrassed all to hell from the last class that sing a happy birthday to me in front of everyone. Was not a fan. So, I’ll accept a simple mouthing of the words. Oh yeah, thanks.


Curious: ♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♥
Party like a rock star :) because I love you so much, and it’s your birthday send me an email to curiouslovesyou@gmail. com with your favorite song of mine, and I’ll email you an MP3 of that song!! Wishing you the best year yet!

XOXOX
CURIOUS

The Divine Madness: Birthday Wishes and Kisses my friend:)
xo
Lady V + DM

I wonder if the free Mp3 is still good. Oh wait, you didn’t say free did you?


The Good Ship Venus and Friggin’ in the Riggin’

Both Good Ship Venus and Friggin’ in the Riggin’ play a pretty big part in character development in Island Macabre. They’re both in the player above. Basically, Good Ship Venus is drinking song the was supposed to be shocking ly dirty. I suppose it is depending on what era you lived in, but the Sex Pistols wanted to make sure it was raunchy enough, so they re-did it. Here are the lyrics to both.

The Good Ship Venus
Aboard the good ship Venus,
You really should have seen us,
With a figurehead of a whore in bed,
And a mast of a phallic genus
 
The captain of the lugger,
Was known as a filthy bugger,
Declared unfit to shovel grit,
From one ship to another.
 
The cabin boys name was Chipper,
A Randy little nipper,
He made a pass with a broken glass,
And circumcised the skipper.
 
The first mate’s name was Morgan,
By gosh, he was a gorgon,
From half past eight he played till late,
Upon the captain’s organ
 
The captain’s wife was Charlotte,
Born and bred a harlot,
Her thighs at night were lily white,
By morning they were scarlet.
 
The captain’s daughter, Mabel,
Though young, was fresh and able,
To fornicate with the second mate,
Upon the chartroom table.
 
The captain’s younger daughter,
Was washed into the water,
Her plaintive squeals announced that eels,
Had found her sexual quarter.
 
The ship’s dog’s name was Rover,
We turned that poor thing over,
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Teneriff to Dover.
 
And when we reached our station,
Through skillful navigation,
The ship got sunk, in a wave of spunk,
From too much fornication.

Friggin’ in the Riggin’

It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, ya shoulda seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast was a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn’t fit to shovel shit
From one place to another

Chorus:
Friggin’ in the riggin’
Friggin’ in the riggin’
Friggin’ in the riggin’
There was fuck all else to do


The captains name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day sweet tunes he’d play
On his fuckin’ organ

The first mate’s name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor

Chorus

The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock with a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a fuckin’ nipper
So he stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

Chorus

The Captain’s wife was Mabel
To fuck she was not able
So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table

The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
Delighted squeals revealed that eels
Had found ’er sexual quarters
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