Sunday, August 19, 2007

ISLAND MACABRE: Episode 2 - "The Hard Way to Hell"

You get to read Island Macabre: The Hard Way to Hell before it hits the ShadowDaily.com with an added feature--an appendix.

As always, have fun or be dead.



Island Macabre (Episode 2: The Hard Way to Hell)

A Philip Davetas Ride


Orion's Bitch soars over the foamy peak of a wave dragging a spray of sea and counter-measure flares. Shanghai Mars' jet-skiing pirates follow. The landing craft splashes down catching a downslide of the same wave.

In the landing craft's pilot house, Orion furls the wheel trying to avoid a renegade wave.

Teach panics, "You want us to fight them off?"

"Unless you have some really kick-ass maritime piloting skills that could be useful right about now."

"I'm afraid not."

"Well, I'm afraid so."

Rooke swings open the cabinet finding a WW II-era Browning Automatic Rifle and an M-1 Garand. "Did these rifles come with the boat?"

"Hey, don't knock 'em, honeycomb. Those things'll do the job nice and good. It still blows out the same kind of brains." Orion spouts over his shoulder. "Just don't open fire on the cargo hold walls or you'll be playing tag with your own bullet. Just fire in the air or the water. The reflex will send those fuckmeats leapin' for cover."

Teach and Rooke stand with the two rifles in hand still looking a little lost. Orion double-takes, "Those pirates ain't gonna shoot themselves! Scoot, scoot, scoot!"

A jet ski zooms past the pilot house and splashes down into the cargo bay.

Rooke and Teach duck behind an armored turret as the landing craft surfs down the wave. The pirate's jet ski stops at the mid point of the cargo bay. All the water has collected at the ramp. Teach cradles his rifle while seeing Orion making a finger gun. The pirate dismounts his jet ski while whipping out his Heckler 9MM.

"Are you going to shoot?" Rooke screams.

Teach answers, "You first!" He looks at a cargo strap whipping around the armor turret. "Oh. I think you should wear this to secure—"

Rooke steps up from behind the turret and blindly fires her BAR into the water. A hefty gust of water erupts from the sea pushing her out of the turret. Teach looks around while shaking the water out of his face. He searches for Rooke as a streak of lightning reveals she's not around.

The wave pushes Rooke onto the tarp of the Deuce and then onto the floor of the cargo bay knocking the rifle from her grip. She staggers for the rifle as the pirate takes aim.

The landing craft hits the bottom of the wave forcing more water in the cargo hold and throwing the pirate towards the ramp. Two more jet skis arch into the landing craft.

Orion slams the throttle making the landing craft glide up another wave. Shanghai Mars' voice squawks over the radio, "Hell ain't hot enough for ye, matey!"

Orion snatches the radio, "Well, I saw the ugly face of god."

"What the sonofabitch say?"

"Told me to come back a little later after I've raised enough Hell." Shanghai Mars chuckles just as Orion's about to hang up the radio when it occurs to him, "Did the Dragon Lady tell you about the tats?"

"She be the scuttlebutt pipeline."

"Her mouth is about as fast as her ink."

A lightning bolt snaps at one of the Big Red Cock's propeller engines. The engine starts to flame. "Hold that thought, ye. I be havin' engine troubles."

A jet ski crashes through the side of the pilot house window forcing Orion to dive out of the way. The pirate unsheathes a machete announcing, "Oy!"

"You didn't miss the class on random shark attacks did ya?" Orion whips out a road flare from his cargo pocket. He rips off the cap as the magnesium ignites to a hot, bright red.

Rooke is about to tackle her weapon when water washes over it. She sees a shark swimming towards her. The water rises above her knees with the tilting of the landing craft. Rooke leaps out of the way leaving her BAR. The Land Rover smashes up against the Deuce. She makes a run for the Rover as the shark fin comes up quickly behind her. Suddenly, bullets snap behind her chasing off the shark and giving her time to take cover in the Rover.

Teach fires one shot after another as the shark swims towards the on-coming jet skiing pirates. Machine-gun bullets pelt around his armored turret as he takes cover. He clicks the cargo strap to the side of his belt loop.

Back in the pilot house the pirate swings the machete at Orion, but Orion catches his wrist and shoves the blazing flare into the pirate's mouth and confiscates his machete. "You have a purdy mouth, boy." The landing craft suddenly crunches against a hard wave splashing over the ramp sending both Orion and the pirate crashing through the pilot house window into the cargo bay.

Orion struggles to his feet realizing the water is now waste-deep all around. He catches a glimpse of a shark tail flopping a few feet away in red water. He watches the jaws of the shark munching on the pirate with the flaming mouth. The flare projects the pirate's silhouette just as he slides down into the belly.

"Bon a' petite," Orion says and quickly kisses his fingers like a chef.

He sees Rooke beating against the windshield of the Rover as it rolls back towards the ramp. Two pirates break for her while one makes for Orion. Orion fights his way to a flipped over jet ski. He hops on, starting it up and heads straight for the on-coming pirate. Orion points the machete at the pirate like he's about to joust. Orion shouts, "Tallyho!" The pirate grins while pulling out a Micro UZI. The two pass each other as Orion lunges the machete deep into the pirate's jet ski, breaking the fuel line. Gas-o-line sprays out of a hose, but the pirate doesn't notice. He makes a u-turn and comes back at Orion who's already heading for Rooke and the Rover.

One pirate is on the hood with an ax and the other busting the glass in the back. Orion makes way—full steam ahead. He approaches leaping off the jet ski tackling the pirate on the hood. The Rover rolls back toward the front of the landing craft while Orion and the ax pirate wrestle on the hood.

The water sloshes through the Rover. Rooke forces the ignition out of its socket just as the pirate makes his way through the bed.

Teach watches the action helplessly from his turret. He sees the UZI pirate bee-lining for the Rover while the shark continues to gnaw on the mouth-flare pirate as the flare brushes against a trail of gas-o-line. A flame follows the UZI pirate's jet ski trail setting him ablaze. The pirate shrieks like a girl and flails his arms while depressing the trigger on the UZI.

Rooke brushes the two ignition wires together as the Rover starts, but UZI fire rips through the windshield forcing her to take cover. Orion and the ax pirate trade blows oblivious to the UZI chatter.

The UZI pirate's jet ski explodes making the gunfire cease.

Still taking cover, Rooke presses the accelerator with her hand making the Rover move. The pirate yanks Rooke back by the hair exposing her throat while he unsheathes his SEAL pup knife. But a bullet zips into his forehead. He stares dead in amazement for a second while his forehead streams blood across the dashboard.

Orion manages to score a lucky punch across the ax pirate's face. A ribbon of gunfire bubbles across the pirate's chest. Orion and Rooke exchange a quick smile, "Alright, Teach!" But then Orion takes a hit in the shoulder as the windshield shatters.

Teach watches the UZI gunfire ricocheting all over the cargo bay like deadly, little pin balls. "Blimey." He's makes a run for the pilot house, but the cargo strap yanks him back down just as a set of UZI fire snaps in his path. "My lucky strap."

Rooke pulls Orion into the Rover as the bullets snap all around. "Take cover in the bed!" Orion shouts. Orion and Rooke dive into the back of the vehicle while bullets continue to pelt against everything. Orion rolls Rooke to her back to try and protect her, but a gallon of water washes over her face. He takes another bullet to the ass. He lets out a growl. "I got bit in the ass!"

As the ricocheting stops, Teach sprints to the pilot house to regain control of the wheel, but notices another engine on the Big Red Cock blows out. The plane begins to lose altitude and lowers into the cargo hold. Just as Teach steps behind the wheel, he watches a huge wave coming right at them giving them nowhere to turn. He just stands there staring into the mouth of oblivion. "Dear me."

***

A gentle splash of water brushes against Teach's face. He wakes up to a beam of sunlight cascading across his face. He shoots up looking around realizing he's on the floor of the pilot house.

Rooke wakes up noticing Orion is spooning her with his hand tightly cupping her breast. She tries to break free without waking him, but he's got a tight grip on her. Then a pirate with a bullet hole through his forehead floats by startling her.

Orion groggily wakes up slightly grinning. "Man, oh, man did I have this wicked dream last night."

Rooke holds her shirt closed with her fist making up for a couple lost buttons. "That wasn't a dream. We were attacked by pirates."

"No, honeycomb." Orion grins. "The dream I had about you and me. I had no idea you could do such things." She punches him in the bad shoulder making him wince. I gotta remember that."

She just sighs and steps on to the hood of the Rover. It's a bright, quiet and sunny day on the sea. She looks around the cargo hold that's still got a good couple of feet of red water. She hears Teach's voice shouting, "Rooke, you're okay!"

"Yeah." She says exhaustedly. "You?"

"I'm just fine." He points toward the front of the landing craft. "Look!"

Rooke shields the sun from her eyes while standing on her tip-toes to look over the landing ramp. She sees the island in the distance. She takes a deep and staggered breath while smiling. "Captain Orion, we're here."

Orion makes his way on to the hood while holding his shoulder. "I guess that's the bad news." He notices a black stream of smoke coming from somewhere deep in the island. "Any landing you can die from will be just fine with me, Shanghai Mars."

"Bad news? That's great news!"

"Out here, honeycomb, there's only bad news and worse news." Orion looks up at Teach. "How are ya, professor?"

"Peachy, captain. You?"

Orion notices Rooke looking at his morning wood. He winks, "You wanna hear the bad news or the worse news first?" Rooke feigns a smile.

Orion's Bitch casually cruises through the lagoon of Island Macabre. Leaning over the front of the landing ramp, Rooke is captivated by the 360-degree postcard perfect tropical paradise. She snaps a shot on her digital camera.

Orion and Teach stare out the busted out windows of the pilot house.

"I'm curious, captain. If you don't believe in ghosts why did we have to get tattoos?" Teach asks.

"I don't believe in ghosts. I'm just a little superstitious. Superstition goes a long way when sailing these here seas."

"Do you know what the glyph means?"

"Hit me."

"It means sacrifice."

"Sacrifice what?"

"At the turn of the Twentieth Century the modern Japanese government abolished feudalism affecting the samurai social status and power. The government tried and failed to integrate many of the samurai into the modern world. The Japanese government foresaw a war coming. The government sent as many of the best of the samurai clans to this island to save local peasants from a force of evil. But there were no local peasants. The ships turned around and left them to die."

"That's fucked up, professor. What happened to the other samurai guys? The ones in Japan?"

"They rebelled in what was called the Kagoshima Revolt. The old and new worlds clashed. The modern world won." Teach points to Orion's tattoo. "They were willing to throw down arms and their petty disagreements to save someone. That is the symbol of sacrifice. That is what protects you from the Bushido Breath."

"Cute little bedtime story, professor."

"I'm rather fond of it myself."

Orion, Teach and Rooke watch the ramp on Orion's Bitch lower as the water swills out with a couple of half-eaten pirates and two bloated sharks and five jet skis. Orion picks up the BAR and a 9MM Heckler. Orion says, "Bonus gun."

"At least," Teach says while holding his nose, "we can consume the sharks for sustenance."

"Well," Orion sneers, "I'll let you cut 'em open and you can watch a couple of partially digested human beings spill out of their stomachs."

Rooke asks, "Who were those guys?"

"Shanghai Mars and his sky pirates." Orion answers. "My take is that they know why you're here and they wanna piece of it. Actually, they'll take all of it."

Orion starts up the landing craft as the fuel needle trembles near empty. "Shit." Orion snaps off the motor and makes his way down to the cargo hold where both Rooke and Teach study the map. "Okay, I was wrong. There's bad news, worse news and shit news."

"What's the sh—news?" Teach asks nervously.

"We don't have enough fuel to make it back to civilization."

Rooke asks, "Can you siphon the gas from the jet skis and the truck?"

"Different fuel types and not enough. And the Deuce is waterlogged."

"What's the worse news?" Teach asks.

"We're gonna have to trek into the island to get some."

"That's great news!" Teach says happily. "An island like this is burgeoning with natural methane gas. I must say that's brilliant, captain."

"This boat runs on diesel, professor." Teach's grin droops. "But I know where we can get some."

"What's the bad news?" Rooke asks.

"Shanghai Mars' plane crashed down somewhere in the middle of the island."

"Will we be bartering for his fuel?" Teach asks.

"No, he doesn't barter if there's nothin' in it for him."

Teach stares at him inquisitively, "We're going to pilfer from Shanghai Mars?"

"If we can find that there treasure before him, we might be able to trade him for some fuel."

Rooke winces, "But he'll kill us."

"Yeah," Orion rubs his chin. "I'm workin' on that part."

Orion snaps the ignition wires on the Rover starting up the motor. "Alright, Temba! They don't make 'em like that anymore do they!" Orion grins at Rooke. "Where'd you learn how to hotwire a rig, honeycomb?"

"The Internet."

"The what?"

Rooke turns to Teach smiling in the backseat, Teach says, "Surely, you've heard of the Internet, captain."

"Inter-whatever." Orion picks up a cassette tape and slaps it in the cassette player as an old Rancid song comes on. "You guys like music?" Orion puts the Rover in motion heading for a valley of kunai grass. "Whatever you do, guys, don't stick your hands out of the Rover while driving through Kunai Valley. Take your head and hands right off."

The Rover makes its way through the kunai valley leaving a beaten trail. Rancid's punk-ska music drones throughout the dead island as they drive into the night.

***

It's a full moon of lunatic-beckoning proportions. The Rover is parked at the mouth of a ravine full of 13-foot or greater rock columns that fade into a heavy fog bank. Orion empties a fuel canister into the Rover while Rooke and Teach study the map on Rooke's laptop.

Something in the brush gets Orion's attention. He takes a big whiff.

Rooke rearranges the jigsaw map around on her laptop. "See," Rooke starts, "if I put this piece here, it forms this valley."

"How can you be sure that it's this valley and not another on the other side of the island?"

"We can ask the captain."

Orion steps back into the Rover. "Maybe you shouldn't ask the captain because he wasn't on a sight-seeing tour and his memory is a little fuzzy. But if you ask real nice, he might take you through Ghost Ravine."

Rooke asks, "Ghost ravine?"

"That's what I call this place."

He turns to both of them, "Okay, I want you two to keep your eyes and ears open. We watch our backs more so than ever around here. I think I caught a whiff of Old Spice and Kwell shampoo. That's Shanghai Mars' brand."

"Kwell?" Teach asks. "Isn't that scabies medication?"

The Rover slowly cruises through the ravine that's thick with fog. Rooke has her video camera rolling and gets nothing but fog.

Teach hovers over her shoulder, "Are you capturing anything?"

Rooke answers, "Not a thing." She looks at Orion who's concentrating hard on the road he can't see. "Why do you call this place Ghost Ravine?"

"Last time I was through this place I was on foot. It was creepy because you could hear muffled screams and whispers. The echo bounces all over the ravine walls so much that you can't tell where it's coming from."

Suddenly, a frog plummets on the hood of the Rover. It squirms to its feet then lunges off into the fog. Teach is spooked and whips his head around. Rooke takes a huge gulp. Orion tries to comfort them, "The storm does that sometimes. Don't touch 'em unless you think it'll listen to your problems." Orion's eyes dart from side to side.

"Problems?" Rooke asks.

"Yeah, when you say, 'Ouch, I think I'm dying.'"

They hear a hissing sound.

Teach, "Was that a radio squelch? Shanghai Mars?"

Orion gulps, "Yeah. Uh… radio squelch. Probably just Shanghai Mars and his fellas. Just wantin' us to know they're okay and not to worry."

Teach relaxes, but Rooke sees Orion shaking his head. They hear two more frogs beating on the roof.

"Fuck it." Orion shifts the Rover into reverse, "I'm not killin' us all for a couple of frogs." But he sees tens of motorcycle headlights coming up from behind. He can hear a group of Shanghai Mars' pirates singing Friggin' in the Riggin'.

Teach taps his toes while humming.

Rooke peeks out with her camera. She points it straight up to a faint clearing in the fog. She can see some of the moon shining through.

Teach starts singing the song as the pirates approach, but he's singing Good Ship Venus, "The captain's wife was Charlotte / Born and bred a harlot / Her thighs at night were lily white / By morning they were scarlet." He shivers while grinnin' evilly, "This song is so terrifically bawdy. We used to sing this at the Molesworth Fencing Academy."

"Glad you like it, professor. Maybe you can join their chantey chorus."

Rooke sees the silhouette of a long, giant tube worm breaking out of one of the rock columns as it hisses and spits out frogs… "Shit."

Teach continues to sing, "Her plaintive squeals announced that eels / Had found her sexual quarter."

And she sees another tube worm break through, "Shit!"

"The ship's dog's name was Rover / We turned that poor thing over…"

And another, "Oh, shit!"

To be continued…


© 2007, Philip Davetas


This is a little something you won't get on Scott's blog. An appendix. Sure you can read the story on his site, but this is the only thing that seperates the two.



Appendix

Landing Craft, Mechanized
There were several different kinds of these built for the World War II amphibous assaults on the Pacific and Eurpoean theaters. This is what Orion pilots.


C-130 with Counter-measure Flares
A huge cargo craft for transporting soldiers, vehicles, etc. It's able to take off on short or non-existant runways. This is what Shanghai Mars' Big Red Cock would look like... only redder. The counter-measure flares you see are designed to deter sensor-based weapons from blowing you up. But in Episode 1 they're used to illuminate Orion's Bitch during an attack at sea during a hideous storm.


Land Rover Defender
In Island Macabre the Rover is often referred to as Temba because of whom Orion bought the vehicle from. This becomes the second home to the castaways.


BAR (Browning Automatic Rifle)
A 20-round automatic rifle designed for battle in World War I, but used heavily through World War II.


M1 Garand
The standard rifle introduced for the US fighting men of World War II.


9MM Heckler & Kotch MP5
15/30-round submachine guns made famous in flicks like Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.
Micro-UZI
32-round Micro UZI. The baby of the UZI family.


Navy SEAL Pup Knife
This particular knife (as well as many of the vehicles) was thrown into to imply that a lot of Shanghai Mars' sky pirates are ex-military.


Deuce and a 1/2
Usually, a crappy truck that doesn't move very fast, but excellent for tranporting nitroglycerine over rickety bridges. Unfortunately, it doesn't really have a use in the rest of the story. Initially, it seemed logical that Orion would have a few trucks like this if he was piloting a landing craft. He's a smuggler-for-hire so he'd have this stuff, but for one reason or another the Deuce isn't mentioned again. I'm sure in a motion picture, this Deuce would be thrown out of the production.



Jet Ski
This is how Shanghai Mars' sky pirates raid ships and whatnots.


Tropical Paradise
Island Macabre itself is supposed to be a beautiful, little island that just so happens to turn treasure-hunting visitors into greedy, blood-thirsty mutants.


Cassette Tape
The cassette tape is around to not-so-subtely imply that Orion is still a little behind the times. He spends most of his time smuggling shit from island to island and fighting off pirates, so he just hasn't caught up with the rest of us.

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